November
November’s update is both very significant and pretty short. The big news is that, five years after last living in Victoria, we moved back in mid-November. I’m sure I’ll have more to say on the subject eventually, but in short, we signed a lease on November 4th, effective for November 15th, and I. Could. Not. Be. Happier. We’ve been wanting to get back since we last lived here in 2019, but expected to have to wait until we fully retired. I guess if one positive came out of my crash, it was this, and deciding I will no longer put off until tomorrow what I want to do today. Nearly dying gives one a bit of perspective.
A Letter for a Careless Driver
The other somewhat major development is that, after careful consideration, and vacillating repeatedly, I decided late in November to send the driver who hit me a letter outlining the impact his carelessness has had on me. Drafting it it has been very therapeutic. As I said, my wife inadvertently got his contact info, so we were able to determine that his home-based business was a couple blocks from where he hit me. I don’t want a response; only to hope that he reads it and pays more attention to his surroundings when driving. Sending it will, of course, have to wait until the Canada Post strike is over.
Thanks also to my cognitive / SLP therapist, Kathy, for feedback on the following.
Re: April 14th, 2024 I’m the guy you hit on April 14th. Since you said to my wife by text that you hoped I would recover fully, I thought I’d let you know what kind of damage even momentary inattentiveness can cause. My injuries were extensive and severe. Physically, I came into Royal Columbian Emergency with significant lacerations down my left arm and on my left thigh and knee, and multiple fractured ribs. The force of the crash jammed my bowels up into my chest cavity and also resulted in me losing my spleen and rupturing my diaphragm. They had to put a stent in my right carotid artery for fear of enough oxygen getting to my brain, as I had become unresponsive shortly after arriving at RCH. As a result of the splenectomy alone, I am now permanently immunocompromised, which meant five new vaccines, boosters for two of them in five years, and being up to date on annual COVID and flu shots. More significantly, I can no longer safely go to concerts, hockey games or anywhere people are crowded into smaller spaces, including even just a bite out at a busy restaurant. This poses significant challenges for attending my son’s wedding next year. In short I am at a substantially higher risk of contracting infections than I was before the crash. I also have several disfiguring scars as a result. One the length of my abdomen, another about 4” long, perpendicular to that one (from the splenectomy, with a corresponding abdominal bulge), and more down my left forearm, on my knee and thigh, and several small scars from the feeding, drainage and intubation tubes. Beyond the scarring, the other effect has been a loss of sensation under my left arm and in my pectoral muscle. It’s unclear right now whether the feeling will return. With regard to the bulge, it appears to be a small hernia, which will almost certainly require another surgery and the risk of further numbness in my chest/abdomen to repair. I spent three weeks in Royal Columbian and was transferred to GF Strong for another five, which included starting very intense therapy and rehab. Less obvious but far more significant … I suffered several small strokes (I am not someone normally at high risk of stroke) resulting in a traumatic brain injury which, in turn, affected my right arm and hand motor skills and coordination. It is getting better but may never fully recover. I also had visual deficits when first released from hospital (which have thankfully mostly resolved aside from the visual fatigue I refer to below). Similarly, I developed significant cognitive issues as a result of the brain injury. Memory, executive functioning, recall and many other issues have prevented me returning to work, which frankly, may never happen. I now also have severe light sensitivity, visual and mental fatigue and a persistent “brain fog” which may never lift.The brain injury has also caused significant vestibular (balance, dizziness, etc) symptoms, which have drastically affected my running and to a lesser degree, my cycling (both things I am passionate about). I also am much more paranoid of traffic in general and doubt I’ll ever ride solo in traffic again - something I used to really enjoy doing. I have just finished six months of vestibular physiotherapy, had two months of hand therapy after I left GF Strong and will be in cognitive therapy for several more months. I am not carrying around anger because it wouldn’t be productive, wouldn’t change anything and wouldn’t help my continuing recovery. I will just mention though, if it isn’t clear by implication, the crash has permanently and significantly impacted my life, and aside from your premiums paying for my recovery, I suspect you’ve suffered no other financial costs. FYI, if we weren’t subject to no-fault insurance in BC you would have been liable for damages, and it would have cost you significantly more than higher insurance premiums. However, only crashes involving alcohol, road rage or distracted driving are typically subject to any further investigation or possible charges (and the police file offered no help). I remember you saying you didn’t see me (my ONLY recollection of anything for about a week). It was a very clear day and I was dressed very visibly, so I often wonder if you were distracted, because you certainly weren’t paying enough attention to be driving. All of this doesn’t even touch on the stress and uncertainty you caused my wife and sons, who didn’t know if I would even survive, or, if so, if I would have permanent brain damage or possibly be blind (all things that were openly discussed in the first days after the crash). It also doesn’t touch on navigating the endless bureaucracy associated with income replacement insurance. Presently I have to deal with three different insurers (EI, ICBC and my LTD provider). It has been over eight months since my life was altered permanently from the crash with you. According to estimates from the hospital and police, you were doing about 50 km\hr at the time of impact, when, in my opinion, you should have been going much slower in that area. However, it’s a pretty well established pattern that people pay less attention the closer they are to home, when driving. I don’t want your sympathy and have purposely not included my address or name, because I don’t want any kind of reply. However, if I have one thing to say in closing it’s to please, PLEASE slow down, and pay attention. I nearly died because you weren’t doing so on April 14th.
Fitness – November 2024
Almost entirely due to the move, progress on my fitness took a major hit, and was down 58% from October. I expect December to see a nice rebound across the board.
- Total (walk, bike, run) Mileage: 173.2 km
- Running: 19.6 km
- Walking: 82.7 km
- Cycling (trainer, e-bike): 71.9 km
- Weights: 2h 38m
- Yoga: 4h 40m
- Drums: 1h 2m
Notes
- Our move ended up being quite the adventure with ferry delays, and heat / hot water issues, but that’s all been rectified (hopefully) and feels like another post for another day.
December
I’ve decided that this will be my last monthly update, with the possible exception of a quarterly update or two in 2025, particularly around my decision about returning to work. My progress still continues to be good, but true milestones are fewer and further between.
Regardless of what ends up happening, I continue preparing as though I will return to work. To that end, I am still in cognitive therapy for a few more months at the very least, with short-term memory, planning and problem solving getting better, little by little, and, while not quite there yet, typing has improved to the point where it will be slow but is acceptable for work.
I’m not sure if it’s a case of fatigue with needing to constantly prove that I am not ready for work / disabled, needing to continually provide related documentation, or just the fact I’m dealing with three different insurers, all with their similar but different requirements, but both my wife and I have noticed my frustration level is much higher with things that didn’t trigger me before. To deal with it, I’ve asked my OT and cognitive therapist to include “frustration strategies” with the general return to work stuff. It’s not fair to my wife to have to put up with my kvetching, so I’m looking to make sure it doesn’t become more of an issue than it is.
We’re on Christmas break over the holidays, but will reconvene in the new year with a focus on things that will hopefully prepare me for a real-world work situation and head off the aforementioned frustrations. We’ll file all of that under “to be determined” for now.
I still haven’t bought a new road bike, as right now in the midst of “wet coast winter,” being on the trainer or e-bike is completely sufficient for my needs, though I do plan to join a cycling club again … I think. Power output and ride speed on the trainer continues to inch upward and is getting close to where I was pre-crash.
Running continues to progress well; amazingly well really. I’m closing in on a 4:30/km pace on shorter, harder efforts and usually 5:15-5:30/km on longer, easier efforts. These paces are, more or less, what I was running before the crash. Now I will begin edging my longer runs beyond 13k, my current limit, to see how far I can get. It’s nice that I feel like going longer won’t be a problem. I’m even considering doing the Oak Bay half marathon in the spring, but we’ll see. I feel like a training goal would be a good thing for motivation and continued progress, even if I don’t do the race.
I sent the letter I posted above to the driver who hit me, once the Canada Post strike ended in mid-December. Doing so was therapeutic and provided some measure of closure, though I’m not even sure what constitutes closure. I’m not mad, and in truth there’s little that can be done when someone drives carelessly, aside from hoping they slow down and pay more attention in future.
I guess the only real development for me physically from late 2024, aside from continued improvement with running and cycling, is that of an abdominal incisional hernia. At first I thought my incision was just healing a bit oddly, but it seems that the small bulge in my abdominal wall is actually a hernia. There’s no pain at all, and short of being aware of it, it causes no issues right now. I’ve been referred to a surgeon in Victoria by one of the surgeons who did my original emergency splenectomy and diaphragm repair. It’ll be at least 12 months before I can actually get a consult with the surgeon here, so aside from watching for signs of strangulation / prolapse, there’s little to do but wait. It’s typically over 30 months to get a hernia repaired in BC, so wait, indeed.
February 2025 Update: I had a hernia surgical consult on February 20th. It seems it will probably be a year or so until I can get the surgery (which is much better than the estimates I was given a month or so ago), and I learned that the loss of sensation I have experienced around my ribs and pectoral muscle is likely caused by the broken ribs and not the original surgery.
Fitness Totals for 2024
Since I got back on track with my fitness in December, more or less, I thought it might be better to review the entire year, in light of the impact the crash has had on my ability to exercise.
- Total: 998 activities, 5380 km, 532 hrs
- Running: 81 activities, 385 km, 35 hrs
- Walking: 386 activities, 640 km, 143 hrs
- Cycling (trainer, e-bike, road): 234 activities, 4355 km, 121 hrs
- Strength: 71 activities, 46 hrs
- Yoga: 113 activities, 51 hrs
- Drums: 184 activities, 97 hrs
All things considered, my activity log doesn’t look all that bad. Monthly, I averaged 489kms overall and 5.4kms per activity, 32kms of running (the hardest activity to return to by far), 53kms of walking and 363 kms of cycling (of all kinds) for the year. When you consider that I couldn’t do any activities at all for two months, I should actually be averaging things over ten months.
As well, I’d say strength took the longest to return to (losing 30 lbs makes one pretty weak) so averaging about 4 hrs per month isn’t too bad, as it ramped way up in the final months of the year. I also averaged 4.25 hrs of yoga and over 8 hrs of drumming a month; also good when you consider two months was a complete write-off. This year hasn’t remotely been about how much I could do, and entirely about just doing it.
Finally, it wouldn’t be a final update to this fiasco without expressing my profound thanks to many people:
- First and foremost, my wife Connie, who has been an absolute rock star throughout. I know dealing with this and some of the illogical frustrations and flat out weird shit I’ve said and done through my recovery and rehab hasn’t been easy. She has more grace than I have a right to experience and I couldn’t love a person more.
- My kids and soon-to-be daughter-in-law, who routinely kept my spirits up and put up with my many updates and cycling/running and other milestones, in spite of having no personal interest in the subject 🙂 Love to you all.
- My extended family and old friends, including well wishes from far and wide, and most welcome visits from a couple cousins from Ontario and my oldest friend Andy (53 years and counting). I’m happy to say that I surprised all of them with my progress (Given the severity of my crash, I know their expectations were probably pretty low).
- My Vancouver friends who routinely grabbed coffee and hung out with me.
- Finally, in Royal Columbian Hospital, GF Strong and the community, the many doctors and surgeons who performed minor miracles saving my life and the many therapists who have put me on the road to a very solid recovery, I literally would not be here without them.
Notes
- In summation, my recovery progress has been very good to, honestly, outstanding. As of the end of 2024 my fitness is mostly where it was before the crash, with a few lingering vestibular symptoms, and residual brain fog to keep things interesting.
- Cognitively, I have made huge improvements since I came home from the hospital, but am still a few months from testing the waters of a return to work, as planning, problem solving and overall executive functioning still need additional therapy, and I still experience at times, significant levels of frustration with things that wouldn’t have bothered me nearly as much before the crash. True multitasking still presents some challenges for me.
- While I ponder a return to work, a graduated return and 100% remote accommodation will be mandatory for me and, if that or continued progress with cognitive therapy stalls anywhere close to where I am now, I am pretty comfortable considering full retirement.
- If we can comfortably qualify for a mortgage this year, I suspect retirement becomes more attractive still, as the motivation to work again after a year or more off work, and turning 61 in October 2025, likely wanes completely.